Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Episode 217

DTN

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…

We’re all really big fans of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood at my house, and all for different reasons. My husband’s love for the show probably sprouted first of the three of us because DTN was one of the only shows that would grab Kennedy’s attention long enough for us to keep her occupied while we showered or took phone calls. Kennedy loves it because of the relatable characters and musical element weaved into every episode. Me, of course, I love it because A) it’s an extension of a childhood favorite of mine, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood and B) in addition to teaching kids about the basics like using the potty, washing hands, and trying new foods, it maintains (true to Fred Rogers’ legacy) a climate of acceptance, empathy, and love among children across the sexes, abilities, and ethnic lines. The families on DTN are also made up of diverse combinations: King Friday and Queen Saturday are the oldest parents of the bunch, but alas, young Prince Wednesday is the same age as the other children, Katerina Kittycat is raised by her mother alone, and Uncle X looks after O the Owl on his own.

One episode in particular stood out to me recently because I hadn’t seen it before.

[Side note: We’re back to “we can afford to splurge on cable” status at our house, so there are a lot of shows I’m catching reruns of that didn’t hit Netflix]

All of the episodes of DTN contain some lesson for child audiences to learn, and episode 217 doesn’t fall short in content or title, “Daniel Thinks of Others.” In this episode, Daniel colors a picture of his family at school and decides to add some glitter to it. He ends up using all of the glitter on his picture, which later disappoints Ms. Elaina (my favorite of the bunch) who wants to use some glitter for a sign she is making. Teacher Harriett speaks to Daniel about how it’s a good idea to think about what other people may need rather than only considering oneself. Daniel resolves to be a little more thoughtful of his friends and family in the future.

It’s a warm and fuzzy lesson for him to learn, but it also left me with questions:

At what point in our lives do we decide stop following the lessons taught to us in childhood? Couldn’t our world benefit immensely from all of us upholding the lessons we’re teaching our kids? Why are we insisting our children receive quality programming that teaches them positive messages when as adults we aren’t doing the same?

I’ve started to break my social network silence a bit about recent events of police brutality, racial divide in the United States, acts of terrorism abroad, and mass shootings on American soil. I don’t really care which side of the issue you come down on, whether you’re #BlueLivesMatter, #BlackLivesMatter, #AllLivesMatter, Confederate, Union, whatever…

None of the problems plaguing us right now can be solved if fear and its byproducts rule our actions. Love has to replace fear, and from love can come understanding. This is not a police problem or a black problem – it is a human problem.

I’ve been practicing guided meditation lately as a means for quieting my mind before bed, and one meditation I came across is by Ram Dass, titled, “Just Like Me.” It’s a reflective exercise that requires the participant to practice empathy, even with people they don’t necessarily care for.

Just Like Me

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.


This person has feelings, emotions and thoughts, just like me.


This person has in his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.

This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me. This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.

This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.

This person has longed for friendship, just like me.

This person is learning about life, just like me.

This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.

This person wants to be content with what life has given, just like me.

This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.


This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.


This person wishes to be happy, just like me.

This person wishes to be loved, just like me.

I wish that this person have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.

I wish that this person be free from pain and suffering.


I wish that this person be peaceful and happy.

I wish that this person be loved.

Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.

 

I wonder how many other people know about this meditation and have used it before. I wonder if it’d be used more if I placed it on cars or wrote it onto a mural or dropped off copies of it at the police station.

Imagination is wild. My daughter is calling me in the next room.

Be well!

Summer in Full Swing

It’s been an interesting summer down here, and the season isn’t entirely over yet. One thing I must say I’ve enjoyed most about this summer is that we’ve had a steady influx of family come to see us since the end of May. I highlight this because in the past, it hasn’t always been this way. It’s usually our family traveling to see others. Needless to say, it’s a warm feeling to have folks want to come to where you’re from.

Here are some photos:

patcalvin

My aunt and uncle came to visit. Having them in my home was surreal, as well as beautiful!


brothers

My dad and his brother. These two had a lot of fun together and it made my heart happy to see them reunited after a long time.


cousins

Kennedy was born on my cousin’s birthday three years ago, and that makes them buddies. I enjoyed getting to watch him with her. 


home fireworks

Since fireworks are legal here in Florida, we got to host our own show for the 4th of July this year! Definitely beats the traffic of trying to get to other firework shows…

 

sparkler

Once she got over the loud sounds, she enjoyed the sparkly display of the 4th, homestyle. 


We took Kennedy to see Finding Dory as her first movie this summer!

Friendship

I just got done catching up with an old friend on the phone, which is fueling my inspiration to write this blog post tonight. A few updates: my Facebookless life is going well so far – I am accomplishing more at home and at work (which are the same place HA!) I am happier in my marriage and other relationships, and my ability to focus has improved. I still have anxiety, but I had that well before Facebook so we won’t blame that social media monster for it. I’ve also got a better handle on how I want to run my coaching business moving forward.

friendship meme

Truth be told, you could put these two on ANY meme, and I would laugh. #StepBrothers

On to the topic at hand: Friendship, and all the business surrounding it. I appropriately named this blog after the period of time I am progressing through on my personal timeline, and I’m really glad I had the foresight to do so. My thirties have been a contrast to my twenties; I’m sure most adults in their thirties and beyond would say the same. When you’re just starting out, you make mistakes because you don’t know any better. After you’re experienced, you have a better idea on how to side-step a lot. One area among many that I’ve seen a metamorphosis in is my concept of friendship.

I think that my current idea of friendship has been heavily influenced by two things: the fact that I am a female in western society, and the fact that I am a black, not-hood-whatsoever female in Western society. Whether I wanted to or not, I fell into a certain place socially because of these traits. Men may look women up and down, but ultimately, women go hard on judgment of other women. It’s just a fact. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is just oblivious. Though men can have social pressures and expectations placed on them, the more rigid sex is definitely female when it comes to appearance, attitude, endorsement, and affiliation. Women are socialized, bred, and trained to have expectations of each other, which are most often ridiculous:

*If you are my friend, then you cannot be friends with people who I view as “enemies” (usually established by catty circumstances such as a slam book or someone starting a rumor or someone dating someone else’s boyfriend freshman year of high school).

*If you don’t act the way society says you should, you cannot be my friend.

*If you refuse to devote time to me when I ask for it, i.e. phone conversations, attendance at a birthday party, staying in with me because I have nowhere to go even though you might, then you are a bad friend.

*If your life doesn’t accommodate mine across circumstantial lines, then you’re an unsupportive friend. For example: Why can’t you come on this booze cruise even though you’re married??? Or, not understanding why you’d feel awkward at my baby shower as the only single girl among married ones.

Because most girls grow up wanting to be desirable, lovable, and admired, we do things that we think will earn us these traits by trying hard to fit in, sticking with cliques, adopting certain fashions or trends just because they’re fashions or trends, and, at times, even being something we really are not because we think it will boost us somehow. My experiences in dance as a child, in high school as a teen, in a sorority in college, and as a young adult in my early twenties all brought me to this conclusion. Some women will step completely outside themselves socially for the sake of trying to appease a crowd. There were many “kickbacks” and other social events I went to throughout high school and college that I felt I needed to in order to remain “cool” with everyone else. A portion of this can probably be attributed to my belief in people-pleasing that I had as I matured from a teen to young adult to now thirtysomething, but the social pressure was there, and I believe that being a female was a large culprit. Boys don’t have as much to think about in that regard. Their social game has fewer rules.

When it comes to my own way of thinking in the present, at just over 32 years of age, I see my favorite and most cherished friendships as the ones that ask absolutely nothing of me. They’re the ones where the other person gives me permission to be exactly who I am without judgment or need of explanation. I am not lazy in friendship, so when I mention that I appreciate relationships that ask nothing of me, that isn’t so that I can sit back and reap special benefits from anything. The friendships I’ve had, I have given a deep part of myself to. I think that’s why it hurts so much to reflect on the ones that have crashed and burned – I’ve had to come to a place of acceptance sans harsh criticism and guilt over what was, and learned to be grateful for what they’ve taught me. But as I move forward through my life, and develop new friendships with the people I bump into during each experience I have, I’ve learned to side-step the arrangements where expectations that I’m not comfortable with are placed on me. This is tough in some situations; people I used to bend over backwards to try to impress or stay in contact with might be wondering if I’m even alive anymore now. In every circumstance where there is a gain on one side, you can always count on there being a deficit on some opposite end. In my case, I’m gaining better control on my emotional, time, and personal investments, and those are more valuable to me than making everybody happy…which is an impossible feat anyway. My favorite friendships were and still are the ones where I can just be accepted for who I am –  a woman with flaws who is still trying to figure herself out while also balancing her changing roles as a woman. Sometimes, I might forget to call. I may not always want to talk about what’s bothering me. My “next move” may not make sense in your eyes, but it’s what I’ve decided on and so I’m going for it.

I should point out that my shift in how I regard friendship has definitely also exposed to me the relationships where I made unfair expectations of other people which consequently didn’t serve me or the other person involved in any way. I think that our world could benefit from more people loving each other as they are rather than drawing up lines and opposition over everything we aren’t to one another. My place in anyone’s life isn’t to criticize or give endorsement where it’s not needed. My place is to accept the people who are in my life for all their imperfections as well as strengths and be here to listen silently when they need me. That hasn’t been an easy lesson to grasp, but one that I am surely thankful for.

One mantra that I’ve come to adapt through this life reset journey I’m on is that if something no longer serves me, I have to let it go. People-pleasing (though I haven’t been a chronic people-pleaser in about five years now) definitely wasn’t serving me, and it’s one thing I’ve been able to shake off since stepping into 2016. But when it comes to friendship and any relationship really, if you feel like you’re asked to act in ways you normally wouldn’t, to endorse things you don’t believe in, or to participate in something you don’t really want any part of, I challenge you to speak the word, “No,” in defense of who you are. I believe all of our future selves will thank us for it. Also, if something isn’t serving you but still occupying space in your life, find a way to let it go. Our time here is limited and therefore precious and shouldn’t be wasted.

It’s Hard to Have Faith Sometimes

First off, let me clarify that I do not choose to label myself as Christian. I believe in God. I believe He sent His only son Jesus to show us the way, and this son then died on the cross and rose again and now looks out for us from the Kingdom of Heaven. If someone held a gun to my head and asked me whether or not I believe in Christ, my answer would be yes every single time. I don’t like to be called a Christian because I don’t affiliate with any church and choose not to, and I don’t engage in other practices certain Christian faiths do, such as proselytizing. I valiantly defend and hold tight to my faith, but I do not see it as my duty to make sure others do the same things I do.

Despite how the contents of that last paragraph may read, I have an immense amount love and respect for Christians. One of my best friends is the most Christ-based person I know, and the most influential people in my life have been Christians. My parents are Christians too. This isn’t a Christian bash post.

faith

I start most days here, with my Bible, a devotional, and prayer journal. 

Regardless of what religion you practice, the truth is this: Holding on to your faith is not easy because we live in a world that is constantly tempting us not to. Worry, jealousy, anxiety, anger, comparison, senseless acts of violence, the need to be perfect, the need to tear others down, and a whole laundry list of other nasty things our world contains all serve to chip away at faith. I define faith as your will to take a step even though you can’t see the ground in front of you. It’s about wrapping your mind around the idea that things can and will be okay even though what you see in front of you is anything but okay. Most importantly, faith is about letting go, relinquishing, giving up control.

Not easy.

Turning this inward, while I won’t ever let go of my faith, I don’t think enough people with faith tell about how hard it is to hold onto. It’s like a greased up watermelon at the bottom of a lake.

In the face of adversity, it’s hard to choose to let it go instead of clenching your fists and fighting back.

When your intentions were good, but people still called you a traitor, it’s hard to find solace in prayer alone.

When you’re fighting an uphill battle and pray incessantly for relief that doesn’t seem to ever come, it’s hard to keep kneeling down before the Father.

When bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people, it can be easy to lose sight of the idea that there’s any order of a higher power at work.

 

 

And I’m here to say that these emotions, reactions, and thoughts are okay to have. They don’t make me or anyone else a bad person. They aren’t all of who we are. But they are part of the human experience.

Free, at Last.

It’s been approximately 36 hours since I deactivated my personal Facebook profile. While this change might seem very simple and perhaps insignificant to some, it’s quite monumental for me. Granted, I’m still very fresh into this new Facebookless life I’ve chosen to live. The decision was a long time coming, and while I have a million reasons behind the choice, I’ll try to condense them into a neat, umbrella-like list:

  1. I was wasting too much time.

One of the first thoughts I’d have after waking up in the morning was about what to post as my first post for the day. I’d redirect my thoughts the majority of the time to focus on prayer and devotional, but all the while, my waking thoughts were on Facebook each day, which I found to be incredibly problematic. Things didn’t get better throughout the day, either, as I’d often be “searching” for my next Facebook post in any activity I was doing, regardless of how mundane. As I grew from a Facebook novice to an experienced user, I learned how to stop vocalizing every little thought and started to focus more on adding value through posts, but even those require a lot of forethought and planning and all of these things, no matter how great the intentions were behind them, ultimately were sucking up a lot of my time.

  1. My actions were being dictated by my presence in Facebookland.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I was living my life in a way that catered toward what made for good Facebook content. This is a serious problem that I don’t believe I suffered from alone, but I can only speak on my own experience. The minute you start treating yourself, your hobbies, and your relationships like potential Facebook content…you should probably take a step back.

  1. I was tired of people looking at me.

Perhaps I sound like a Kardashian with this statement, but it’s true: I was tired of creating content for people to look at and scrutinize. It’s not that I can’t accept criticism. It’s not that I can’t disagree with folks in a healthy, mature way that upholds a level of mutual respect between us. It’s that there’s something different about the Facebook audience that is more bold, insulting, opinionated, and entitled than other mediums. When you write and publish a book, consumers and experts will critique it and you. This critique, though, often centers solely on the work you’ve created, your skill level, and your overall contribution to the art. Nobody is purposely trying to bash you for the sake of doing something to your soul. Not on Facebook. People are mean. I was censoring myself just to avoid being pounced on by bottom feeders when their opinions or actions shouldn’t matter or even be able to reach me if I don’t want them to.

  1. I’m turning more toward minimalist principles, and my Facebook consumption was not in line with these.

I wouldn’t call myself a minimalist, but I am currently on a quest to simplify my life by using minimalism as a tool for cutting excess. Facebook, to me, encourages excess: Excess picture taking, excess time scrolling profiles, excess time coming up with the perfect status, image, or video to post, excess time analyzing a cryptic message someone wrote to see if you should take offense to it or not, excess time explaining ourselves when we don’t owe anyone explanations for anything, and the list goes on. I was a member of Facebook from 2008 to 2016, and in that timespan I’ve seen Facebook content become the basis for multiple arguments in my family (shockingly enough, these arguments didn’t involve me directly) and among my friends (unshockingly, these arguments often did involve me). All in all, I don’t blame people, nor do I blame the creators and engineers who keep Facebook going. I blame the social engineering of our world that prevents us from growing into secure, emotionally intelligent people. Our society is built on the idea of keeping masses of people insecure, engaged in conflict, and perceiving the world as a place where people cannot get along. Facebook is just one of many vehicles through which this social programming reaches people.

Now, though I’m still fairly new at this off-Facebook lifestyle, I do want to make some observations about what I’ve noticed since making the change:

  1. I’m getting way more shit done.

I thought that my slowness to complete tasks at home was a reflection on my having aged, my having a child present at home, and the deterioration of my cognitive sharpness. Nope. While these things do undoubtedly take their toll and have on me in some way, they are not the underlying culprits behind why I haven’t gotten as much done in recent years – distraction is. Yesterday, I woke up and went berry picking with my husband and daughter in the morning, came home and had a quick bite to eat, chatted on the phone for 20 minutes with a friend, went out with Kennedy to a couple shops in search of art for our home, came back home and put Kennedy down for a nap, washed and folded five loads of laundry, cooked a meal of garlic and ginger chicken over rice from scratch, washed the dishes before and after I’d cooked, cleaned the master bathroom toilet, cleaned out my master bathroom drawers and under sink shelves, and cleaned out my nightstand drawers. I did all of this in one day. I also did all of this while passively watching a couple of stand up comedy specials on Netflix. Two weeks ago, if you’d handed me a list of those things and said, “Do this all in one day,” I would’ve had a conniption fit about how there aren’t enough hours in the day, all while scrolling my newsfeed or secretly itching to do so. I thought I’d go through withdrawal upon deactivating my profile, but I’m finding that now that it’s not there, I don’t really reach for it. I had a bit of an issue last night as I went to play some music and suddenly realized that my Spotify account is linked to my now defunct profile, but I’ve since gotten this straightened out and haven’t needed to refer back to Facebook for anything so far.

  1. My stress level has dropped significantly.

Celebrities say all the time that the worst part about being notable is that everyone starts attaching their expectations of you to your every action. If a person isn’t careful, they can end up in the work-life cycle of living for the approval of others rather than living for the fulfillment of self. I am not a celebrity or anything close, but my role as a health coach, educator, and longtime Facebook user made me feel I was in a position of holding up some imaginary standard for others to follow. I felt like I couldn’t allow myself permission to deviate from this in any way.

“People expect a fit Antoinette, so I’ve gotta be fit.”

“People expect me to brighten up their day, so it’s my obligation to brighten it up.” “Certain friends will become upset if I don’t “like” or “comment” on their posts even though I really don’t wish to engage with them because I don’t have interest in what they’re doing.”

Deactivating Facebook lets me get rid of all of these irrational thoughts and fears in one fell swoop, and it feels good. Especially as I refocus myself on my marriage, I don’t have to appraise my relationship with my husband by some standard of happiness that social media has set. He doesn’t need to create lengthy posts in my honor. We don’t have to be visible together on Facebook to make our marriage legit. We can just be us without the rest of the world having a say.

  1. I’ve regained privacy.

Perhaps that last statement was a proper lead in to this one. Many will argue that this, along with some of the other points I’ve brought up in this blog post, can be controlled by me the user and are therefore my own fault for violating because I chose to let the public see certain sides of me and my life. Yes, this is true, to an extent. I think we all have a sense of social responsibility to not perpetuate certain standards, too. If someone is sharing too much on social media, I think the responsible way of handling it is to address it with the person off of Facebook to let them know the dangers or drawbacks to their approach, speaking from a place of genuine care and concern. Don’t grab popcorn and sit in the front row to watch the show. It’s irresponsible to just sit back and let someone make a fool of themselves when we know better. We’re living in a time when people want to watch videos of young girls fighting and yelling obscenities at each other, or footage of adults abusing each other, children, or animals. The consumption of this behavior just gives rise to more, and ultimately speeds along the moral erosion of our world. Similarly, it’s not nice to find enjoyment in watching people act like train wrecks in the public eye. The formation or dissolution of romantic relationships, conception or miscarriage of a baby, intimate moments of a wedding, the experience of being laid off from a job, or the disagreements we have with people in our circle, whether friends or family – all of those things used to be private, and still should be. Voyeurism dictates that they shouldn’t be and that we as onlookers are entitled to minute-by-minute updates on a person’s very private life. The behaviors perpetuated by Facebook use, along with Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram use, negate this. I used to participate in this, but I no longer want to. I respect mine and others’ right to privacy.

This is the most significant change I’ve made since my life reset four days ago.

 

Life Reset

Don’t know what a life reset is? No worries. I don’t exactly know what it is either. I came up with the term when I was throwing around the concept of changing not what I do in my life, but rather my approach to my life.

The infrastructure of my life is beautiful: I have a great job that pays me well and I have fun running a growing business from my house. I’m blessed with a great family and a bright future as a wife, mom, coach, and student of life. I do not want to trade or get rid of any of these things, but I’ve been sort of just, “floating” between them.

I wake up, I go to work, I check in with my challengers and team, I contribute to the curriculum department at my job to create new, cutting edge course material, I exercise, I get other people to exercise, I cook food, I hug and kiss my daughter, I hold hands with my husband…eventually it becomes a really big blur of moving pieces. I love all of these pieces dearly, but I am not truly cherishing them as I know I can. The reason? I’m spread too thin, I’m running in circles, and I’m burning my metaphoric energy candle at both ends most days.

tree photo

I was given this life because I’m strong enough to live it; I just need to start living it now. 

 

This need for change has been evident for a while, but I wasn’t truly moved to make a change until: 1) after my enlightening visit to see my cousin and his wife in Chicago, and 2) I gained some perspective on just exactly what being in my 30s means in relation to my 20s, which are already over, and my 40s which are approaching.

Being around my cousin and his wife last week showed me what potential one could have if they utilize some proper planning, but also leave space for the fun. He’s always kind of been more like an older sibling to me and I’ve watched as he’s met and married his wife, and witnessed as they became parents alongside Fabian and I as their daughter is less than three weeks older than Kennedy. They are not perfect people, but they are definitely the kind of people who you want to have rub off on you because of the cohesiveness of their union, the forward progression of their personal and professional lives, and they still manage to remain relatable, lovable people in the process, which is rare. They also enjoy their life. No, not by base jumping or swimming in diamonds or sleeping on sandy beaches every weekend, but by building simple, yet gratifying activities into their day-to-day. I felt a sense of refresh come over me by staying with them for a week because though they wrangle a lot in their lives – business trips, raising a toddler, paying bills, budgeting, and the woes of living far away from family – they still find the time, energy, patience, and ability to enjoy the life they’ve built. This was eye-opening to me.

The second event that woke me up to my need for change, believe it or not, was Ali Wong’s stand-up special, “Baby Cobra,” which I watched while nursing a cold on the couch a few nights ago. My husband watched it first and recommended it, and boy, does he know me.

Ali Wong had me in stitches. I’ll save the review of her show for another platform, as most readers don’t come here for my commentary on television specials. One reason I enjoyed her candid, vulgar set so much is because I could relate on a variety of levels.

She’s a thirtysomething. She wasn’t swept off her feet when she met her now husband (a graduate of Harvard Business School). She struggled with fertility issues before finally conceiving her first child (she’s actually in her second trimester during the special). She isn’t some dainty, pretty girl with dainty, pretty thoughts – the woman explains her obsession with porn, her envy of housewives and stay at home moms, her feelings about her maturing from a hot, young 18-year-old to a still young, but getting older 34 year old, and her resentment of teenage girls for their effortless ability to be firm, tight, gorgeous, and desirable. While maybe not all of those areas apply to me exactly, I laughed along with Ali’s audience because I could relate.

The broad beacon of reason in Ali’s special was that though she, and many other thirtysomething women in the US, might not have it all together, she’s doing her best to make sure that what she does have is freaking awesome. She spoke frankly about the fact that your 30’s are all about recharge, renewal, refocus, and inner growth as she explained that she and her husband enjoy going on yoga retreats, listening to relaxation podcasts, and taking it easy at home. Funny, because I can relate there as well! Though her journey through adulthood has included some embarrassing moments and heartbreak, she’s fixed her gaze upon looking forward and carving out a beautiful path for herself, wherever it may lead.

Funny, you’d think that the two events that moved me to want to change my life so much would be more massive and significant than one trip to see family and a comedy special, but it really is as simple as those two things that put me in a position to write this blog post today.

I am no longer 26. When I was 26, I had what seemed like endless energy. I could run in circles if I wanted to because A) I probably wouldn’t even notice what I was doing and B) I had the gas to push through something like that without becoming weary. At 32, I’m not old, but I’m certainly not as full of energy as I once was. If I’m going to exert myself, I need to be happy about it at the end of the day.

I used to think that the expectations placed on me by my job and by my friends and by my parents were obligations I’d need to live up to. I’ve learned now that the only people I’m truly obligated to are my husband, our daughter, and myself. Everyone and everything else is accessory, especially with regard to my work. I have never been labeled as lazy because I am not, but I am also no longer interested in being a workhorse. I flat out told my boss that I, “may or may not meet” a deadline when approached with a task last week. The Antoinette of 2007 would’ve worked extra hours to appease the boss, and the Antoinette of 2012 would shake in her heels while trying to take a stand. I’ve dropped all pretense.

The question I’ve had to ask myself: Who am I trying to impress? The neighbors? Some group of girls I went to college with? My coworkers? People at a party? I don’t go to parties, ever, and if I lost stature with any of the other aforementioned groups it wouldn’t make a lick of difference in my life. I’d still live in this bangin’ house. I’d still be Mrs. Oesterlein. I’d still be Kennedy’s mom. Jesus would still love me.

So, rather than throw my New Year’s resolutions down the tube for yet another year, I’m going to attempt to turn it around by truly re-centering myself so that I can better attack my anxiety, get a handle on my time management, be a better wife to my husband, be a better mom to my child, and my favorite of this already fantastic list: add more value to the world around me. I want to live purposefully, intentionally, and fully while I still have the time to.

 

Reset.

This will likely manifest in a series of other posts from me, so stay tuned.