Friending is Trending

There are pivotal situations in life in which we come to eye-opening realizations about ourselves and others. If you are ever curious about who your true friends are, you need only to get married and see who supports your union, or get divorced and see who stands by your decision to split from your spouse. You can graduate from school and see who shows up or sends their well wishes, or get arrested and see who shows up to bail you out, or at least picks up the phone when you call. You can also move far, far away, and see how others react.

You see where I’m going with this…

It’s been just over a month that I’ve been a Florida resident and I’ve gotten just grounded enough, and rested up enough, and blinked my eyes to see things clearly enough, to be able to decide if and what changes I plan to usher in as I embark on this new part of my life. In the midst of this, I’ve had to confront my love affair with that damn mecca of social media: Facebook.

Facebook is a crock of shit.

I think my “friend” list contains 390 some odd people, but it dawned on me during my run this morning that the word “friend” is a loose term here. As I’ve grown up, and been burned, and seen people’s true colors, and been lied to, and let down, and had my feelings hurt, and my heart ripped apart, I’ve had to revise the definition of what a friend truly means. There are only about 7 friends on my “friend” list through Facebook. As for the rest of the folks who are privy to my profile, they’re better acquainted in categories like “acquaintance list,” maybe a short “colleagues list,” and then there’s the “stalker list,” and “creeper list.” I’m tired of allowing Facebook to be a running log of minute details about my life that were not documented in any way 10 years ago. I’m tired of allowing Facebook to be my window to the world, which I usually access while actually sitting in a room that has windows, with actual views of the world. [Notice how I’m not blaming Facebook here, but rather faulting my usage of it.]

I’m going on a Facebook diet. Been on it for 3 weeks, actually. And in my new free time I’ve been able to learn German, write chapters for my book, learn some new songs on my guitar, explore my new hometown, and interview for some jobs. How novel.

I also plan to devote more time to this precious blog.

2 thoughts on “Friending is Trending

  1. I don’t blame you. The most interaction most people get (myself included) is a “like” or “lol”. In our attempts to stay “connected” we’ve forgotten how to actually connect in person. This is why some of my friends and I try to meet up monthly for a dinner date just to catch up in person. Because FB isn’t the place for all your business. I may try this FB diet soon.


    • Ruby, thanks so much for your recent comments. So far I’ve gained a lot since losing Facebook about a month ago. I was using it as my excuse to stay connected with people after the move, but my closest friends still text and call me, so all it really would’ve been is a way to broadcast my life’s happenings to people who hardly ever talk to me anyway. I don’t mind sharing about my life at all, but I see blogging as a more constructive way to do that than sharing lots of photos and status updates. I think it’s the writer in me. Again, I’m not faulting Facebook here, rather the way I had come to treat it. I still have my profile, but that’s mainly because I have a page connected to it for my teaching that I don’t want to lose.
      If you’re interested in the same thing, I say go for it. If you’re like how I was, it will feel weird at first, because it was second nature to me to just jump on Facebook when I was bored or during commercial breaks or when work was boring. Eventually, you’ll get through that phase and start doing better things with your time.


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