Burlesque dancer and model Dita von Teese once said, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
This quote didn’t resonate with me until about three months ago. As much as I have accomplished, I’m still guilty of allowing others to define me with their words and actions. Especially given the world of change that’s happened in my life over the last year, it seems like no matter what choices I make, what words I say, what I do, there is always someone out there who has a problem with it. But that’s really okay…
I’ve never been popular or in with the “cool” crowd. Growing up, I was a nerd (Oh who am I kidding? I’m STILL a nerd!). I joined a sorority in college only to leave a year later because I didn’t get along with any of my “sisters.” I’m also an only child, so being the odd one out really isn’t anything new to me. Something else that isn’t new is the concept that other people will use your actions or words as a scapegoat for what they decide to do, say, or think. I’m only just now, at 31 years of age, becoming intimately acquainted with this phenomenon.
I can’t explain the motives of others. I don’t know why people think what they think or say what they say. I only know what I’m doing, or saying, or feeling. Just as well, what I do and say seems to really irk folks at times and I get the sense that there are people out there who feel that I should be ashamed, be more tactful, that I should tone it down, or that I should say sorry.
The purpose of this blog post is to explain that I am indeed, unyieldingly not sorry.
I’m not sorry that I moved away and found a new life for myself with my husband, my daughter, my mother, and my father.
I’m not sorry that I made new friends.
I’m not sorry that I decided to buy a Groupon to a pole studio here in town and then fell in love with the art. I’m not sorry for wearing short shorts and a sports bra. I’m not sorry for posting videos of myself pole dancing in my house.
I’m not sorry for working out and taking care of myself. I’m not sorry for posting videos or selfies of it. I’m not sorry about becoming a Beachbody coach. I’m not sorry about asking people to join me on my fitness journey.
I’m not sorry for embracing my faith and telling others about it. I’m not sorry for choosing to put God first and telling others about it. I’m not sorry for carrying my devotional book in my purse each day so that I can pull it out and get some spiritual rejuvenation in a world overflowing with assholes.
I’m not sorry for being a work at home mom and proud of it.
I’m not sorry that a year after moving away I don’t want to go back to San Diego.
I’m not sorry for having dreams and believing in them.
I’m not sorry for not being your picture of a perfect mom.
I’m not sorry for being proud of my 4.0 in school.
I’m not sorry for enjoying cooking and sharing that love with others through recipes and videos.
I’m not sorry about being candid at times about my marriage and the rocky places it’s been in the last 18 months.
I’m not sorry for waiting until my marriage was fixed to consider having a second child.
I’m not sorry for calling myself a professor. I am one. Can’t be sorry about the truth!
I’m not sorry that I believe that what’s my business isn’t anybody else’s unless I make it so.
I’m not sorry for calling people out who are disrespectful to my family and friends.
I’m not sorry about the friends I lost in the move. They were fraudulent people anyway.
I’m not sorry for not caring about cable television.
I’m not sorry for being me. No really, I’m not.
If you’re waiting for some sort of apology…you’ll be waiting a while. I hope you’ve got Netflix!